It’s apparently a VERY exclusive club that only roughly about 3 billion people are a member of.  So exclusive in fact that you are only born into this; you either are or are not, have or have not, rock out or jam out.  I, sir, am not a member, nor am I a client.  I am hoping that by bringing my situation to light someone, anyone, inboards and outboards alike, may shed some wisdom (what men believe to be synonymous with testosterone) on why my very close male friends will opt to not tell me pertinent info. when it comes to a guy I’m interested in.  And by “pertinent” I mean the stuff that you need to know before making a huge mistake, being made a fool of, possibly really getting hurt, and the worst:  giving and trying with someone not even remotely up to par because they lie, cheat, and steal…steal kisses meant for someone that actually deserves them and deserves my time, effort, attention, and eventually, just maybe deserves me.  I suppose that last one could cut both ways, either as a gift or a comeupance, but I’m gonna go with gift.

Here’s the situation:

There is a guy that I have liked for an extremely long time, and I was recently able to spend time with him after not talking/seeing each other for years, literally.  Unfortunately, my timing was not the best, and he will be leaving for Green Beret training in less than two weeks.  This brings up three huge issues: 1) He was no where near the gentlemanly nice guy I remember, so I’m kinda ”meh” about the whole deal 2) While I’m feeling “eh, whatever”, I also still have some unfinished business but am not really sure if making the effort and putting myself out there for him is worth it 3) After he leaves I can forget about even seeing an inkling of the person I once deeply cared about and enjoyed.  So, any information that could inform me of the feelings in his heart, rather than the testosterone-driven/penis-motivated comments I heard incessantly while seeing him, would help immensely.

Now my close friend comes into play.  He is a pretty good egg and for the most part treats me quite well as I expect any friend to do and hope they expect out of me too.  My friend has knowledge of some comments by the guy that are not the nicest and could possibly be insulting or demeaning but doesn’t want to tell me since he is friends with both of us.  To clarify how we all know one another… I met my buddy last year when I changed majors.  At one time my friend and The Guy were good buddies and frat brothers, though now I know more about his life in the few hours I spent with him a few weeks ago than my buddy knows now.  So, they’re not that close.  Friends, yes, but not even remotely close friends presently.  The friend and I talk at least a few times a week by phone and we have seen each other more than a few times to hang out despite living over an hour away, i.e we’re really close.

Now that you’re caught up, we’ll get back to business.

The comments relate to how the guy felt about me or his interpretation of our situation back when Mr. Green Beret and I were actually on speaking terms.  Everything was such a mess back then that I would like some clarification in itself, but I would also like to match up what I was told when he saw me recently with the comments he told my buddy.  I’m the type of lady that likes a full deck and HATES to make mistakes on guys full of B.S., i.e. nothing out of the ordinary or unreasonable.  Well, the ace is being held by my friend and I’m ready to go all in but need that card before I decide whether folding may be the best bet.  Due to my lack of a penis, in his terms “man-law”, he would rather keep that ace/mystery card and let me gamble until I go bust.  Is that the thing a close friend would do?  Apparently when it comes to my heart, however little and icy it may be, my close buddies yell a resounding ”yes” on more than one occasion.  I just don’t understand it.  My friend knows that in any other situation he could be as silent as a Friday night in his bedroom, and I would not care and be more than willing to let it go.  But this guy, THE Guy, the one that already cracked my heart pretty good and to still be silent…I mean c’mon, man!

Doesn’t the fact that my figurative ones are way bigger and more substantial than the literal stuff hanging between the legs of some of the “men” I have encountered count for anything?  I’ve even gotten to the point where I have to sometimes remind my buddies that I am a female when they feel the need to ask me why I’m being such a girl.  I guess in the world of friendship and men (I use that word VERY loosely) it’s go penis or go home.

I will never stop being a woman and would love it if I could spend some time in the company of men.  Unfortunately some may refer to the “bros before ho’s” thing as a reasonable explanation, and I think of that as sad and ridiculous.  Sacrificing a membership to the “He-man Women Haters Club” is definitely worth salvaging a close friendship.

Maybe we could attend club meetings together or at least have vistitor cards?  Vaginas and Peni, Unite?!  Umm…Unite Platonically, that is, for the sake of our friendship and my fragile little heart.