Anyone that knows me most definitely knows about “The Taurus”.  Some people name their cars “Betty” or “Cherry” or “Big Blue”, but mine is simply “The Taurus”.  Anyone that knows The Taurus also knows that this car is like an A-cup in a push-up bra.  The outside looks good, but when you get down to the real deal the thrill is gone.

I have been trying to purchase (to a varying degree) a new, much more reliable thrill for years upon years.  Literally.  Perhaps one day I might try to catalog all the times I’ve been left stranded by my car, but not today.  Instead, I am going to detail what is has been like trying to buy a car.

First, I have learned that the buyer must know what she wants.  I knew I wanted a smaller SUV.  Figuring out the best make and model was a much larger battle that began getting more serious as summer rapidly approaches.  No A/C is a great motivator for sure.  Car magazines, consumer reports, Kelly Blue Book, TMV and numerous other sources filled my head with talk about MSRP, V6, dealer incentives, numbers, engines, trims as I began my search for a new car…overwhelming would be an understatement.  Before my first visit to a dealer my uncle told me two things, “Jessie, they will want you to buy a car as soon as you walk in the door.  Stick to your guns and do what you feel.”  I don’t remember the second.

I made a few appointments and was soon on the way to a Kia dealership.  It started off well enough as I walked in and was told to feel free to look around the lot.  Ronnie, the salesperson, would find me after he took care of a few things.  My uncle had clipped an article about the Kia Soul that really caught my eye.  It would be a 2010 model, start near $14,000, and was a smaller SUV.  There were only two available Souls on the lot and one was a manual.  After seeing that little detail there was now only one Soul on the lot.  Ronnie came out and found me somewhere around the Sportages.  I asked him questions on availability of other Souls but turns out they are hard to come by for some dealerships.  This was one of those dealerships.  Hesitation over taking just what they had, instead of what I actually wanted, crept up and took over.  Possibly from inside another salesperson was watching, because after talking to me for a while another guy came out to join us.  It’s two against one and about to get a little ugly.

This is where Ronnie becomes the good guy and the bad guy (can’t remember his name) becomes the “Bad Guy”.  As soon as the details start pouring out of me I transform from the shiny, sweet prospective customer to the cautious, waste of time who is unwilling to purchase anything today.  One guy tells me I have no hope of getting any of the other models I am looking at (Honda, Nissan, Hyundai), since they are much more expensive.  It is either pre-owned or nothing.  That’s him being honest, because “some of those other guys will bullshit ya.”  Telling him I didn’t want to test drive anything yet was the topper that ended the entire question and answer/talking-at-me (rather than to me) session.  Ronnie, Bad Guy, and I all headed inside to work some numbers.  This five-minute conversation was about as fun as the fifteen-minute chat outside.

They each gave me a card and I headed back to The Taurus.  Funny thing was my car did not want to start.  The engine turned over, the car shook, and all the dash lights came on.  Then nothing happened.  No reverse.  No drive.  No go.  I calmly begged/pleaded/prayed for the car not to do this to me right now.  Surprisingly, it listened.

Both of the nights immediately preceding my visit brought dreams about driving around in a new SUV.  Last night I did not have this dream.