For those of you not familiar with the acronym “T.M.I”, it stands for “too much information”.  People usually bust this abbreviation out after hearing about bodily functions, a grotesque story, or anything they didn’t really want to hear in the first place.  Today, I am going to share not one, but TWO T.M.I.s with you.  Exciting.

After my shift at the pub I decided to run some errands to finish out the day.  It had been rainy all morning and was close to a drizzle when I began driving over to Target.  Along with the rain came a welcomed cool breeze that made me want to roll down the windows despite the risk of water coming into the car.  As I’m driving there is suddenly a significantly large brown “plop” on the window.  Less than a second later I noticed an even bigger condensation/steam ring encompassing the “plop”.  Since when did plummeting feces arrive hot enough and large enough on a windshield to actually make a steam ring?  Already grossed out enough, I turned on the wiper fluid to get rid of this steaming pile of crap obstructing my view.  I figured that the fluid, in combination with the rain, would completely remove the feces from the glass.  Not the case.  Instead, I rinsed away all the semisolid matter and was left with various worm shapes gathered on the outer sides of the windshield.  For the remainder of my errands I was distracted by all the fecal leftovers.  It wasn’t the most pleasant drive.

Moving away from avian bodily functions leads me to my own, more specifically to my burp.  I spent all of Friday thinking about sushi and vegetable tempura.  For dinner I decided to assuage this craving by heading over to Oishii.  After I was finished eating, the waitress asked if I would like anything else, “You want more?  You want green tea friiiiied iiiice cream?”

I answered truthfully, “I would love some, but not today.  Thank you.”

“Okaaaay, thaaaaank yooooou.”  She brings me the check.  I pay and leave.

On the way back to the house I stopped by Barnes and Noble to assuage my green tea latte addiction.  To avoid binging on any literary purchases I booked it (pun intended) back to the car and continued driving home.  After sucking down the latte during the drive, I burped.  Of course there were remnant flavors of dinner, luckily only fried tempura, and the taste of my current beverage, green tea.  After the burp, I thought, “Hmm…that kinda tasted like…”  Well, let’s just say I didn’t quite get the actual fried ice cream, but I still got the essence of it.  Delicious.

Gross?  Yeah, I know.  “T.M.I, Jessica, T.M.I.”  I still thought I should share.  You’re welcome.