Drivers Ed

Have you ever patiently waited for the oncoming lanes of traffic to clear out in order to turn, but a car from the parking lot off the street swoops in front of you?  Yes?  Well, I have, and it agitates the bejesus out of me.  My illustration shows the set-up, minus a couple dozen cars and several more lanes.

It seems to happen quite often as I’m leaving the sushii place or arriving at the bookstore.  I’ll be stitting in the turning lane, and a car at the stop sign in a parking lot off the street decides to plant itself in front of me.  I now have to wait for the car that did NOT have the right of way to cross oncoming traffic, wait for the other lanes of traffic to clear so the car can turn, and then go only after all six lanes are free when I only needed the left three clear in the first place. Whew.  Now, wouldn’t it be interesting if the law only made me wait for the initial three lanes to clear before turning?  Wait, it does.  It’s called, “RIGHT OF WAY!”  Look into it.

At least in the “Top 3″

Rarely do I ever blush, but this was a moment that had my cheeks turning as supposedly hot as a Beckham underwear ad.  Yeah, like burning.

Before obtaining my current laboratory position, I went to a couple interviews outside of Houston.  One research opening led me to College Station.  For the interview, I decided on wearing a zippered conservative grey dress, with a very non-conservative slit in the back.  A bright red over-sized belt helped define my waist and added a bit of color to my ensemble.  It was a pretty sharp outfit.

After all my official business was over, it began raining which forced me to stay the night at a buddie’s house.  Driving in the dark and in the rain was not something The Taurus was capable of doing, so my buddy put some clean sheets on the bed as I began looking through the current issue of Men’s Health.  One perk of having male friends interested in their appearance is the fact that many of them subscribe to MH, which I actually enjoy more than Women’s Health.

I lied down on the floor with my stomach on the carpet and head facing away from the kitchen.  As he was finishing up prepping the room for me, I started picking out the recipes, tips, and gear that may actually be pertinent to a woman.  The bed was now made, and my host comes out to tidy up the mess in the kitchen left after our pizza dinner.  We begin chatting about the stuff I’m reading.  I ask him questions about what the author wrote.  “Is this true for all guys?”  I tell him stuff that is total bologna.  “This guy’s an idiot.  Women totally do not like that.”  I give him a little verification when the writers get something correct.  “Wow, that is so true.  Listen to this…”

This goes on for about 15 minutes while the water runs, until he finally finishes washing the dishes.  Since it’s already been established I’m a wiggler, I uncross my legs in order to cross them again in the opposite direction.  A weird sensation of air blows across areas below my waist that should be covered enough to not feel air.  Thinking that was a bit odd, I reach across my back and place my hand near the slit of my dress.  The top of the slit is near my lower back, so I move my hand a bit lower.

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More of my buttons for Jason

Another installment of my car story will be up tomorrow, but tonight there’s this instead.

A few weeks ago I wrote about receiving gifts or discounts from people and wondered what this generosity could be attributed to.  I’m sticking to my belief that this mystery discount is from treating people well enough that they want to show their appreciation.  My male friends are much more cynical, giving credit to only my anatomy and gender.  As a response to this cynicism I decided to illustrate my interpretation of Mr. Weaver’s comment: “Lots of cleavage works too. :)

Yeah, cleavage works, but that isn’t much of a mystery.  The obvious way to male generosity is generally reserved for beer tub nights only, anyway.