juicyK

There were a couple of funny conversations at work yesterday that I felt were at least semi-notable.  At the bar we are required to bring our own containers to avoid wasting pitchers as tip jars.  Getting a suitable jar was on my to-do list for the week but somehow never achieved priority status and was not done.  I arrived at work empty handed but was lucky enough to still have a tip jar crammed in the back of my trunk from several months ago when it was last used.  Before grabbing my cash drawer and jar I overheard one of the girls explaining that she forgot hers and hoped to smooth things over by insisting that I had forgotten one to.  I walked into the office saying, “Sorry, man, had one in the trunk.  I can’t help it if I’m prepared.”

One of the bartenders was eating his dinner in the office and immediately negated how prepared I was.  “It doesn’t count if your car has so much junk in it and all that crap happens to include a tip jar.”

“My car is not full of junk!  I knew exactly where it was in my car; it was in the trunk…in my suitcase.  So there”, I shot back with attitude.

Immediately after the words were out of my mouth I realized how they sounded.  A huge smile spreads across the bartenders face paired with, “In your suitcase, huh?”

“Ugh, Shuuut up!  We’re done.”  Then I walked out as fast as possible.  Moving to the top of my to-do list is working on thinking before I speak, and I’m making it priority status.

After the shift actually started a guy wearing a blue “I heart hot moms” t-shirt walks up to the tub.  He asks for a Shiner, so I handed it to him.  It was a pretty slow night, and I decided to amuse myself with semi-sarcastic small talk by asking, “Do you have a MILF shirt as well?”

“Yeah, I do.”

I respond with, “Shocker.”

“I have that shirt too.”

It took me a second to realize what he meant and my clarity elicited an “Oh, wow.  Inappropriate.  Too much, man, too much.”