For those of you not familiar with the acronym “T.M.I”, it stands for “too much information”. People usually bust this abbreviation out after hearing about bodily functions, a grotesque story, or anything they didn’t really want to hear in the first place. Today, I am going to share not one, but TWO T.M.I.s with you. Exciting.
After my shift at the pub I decided to run some errands to finish out the day. It had been rainy all morning and was close to a drizzle when I began driving over to Target. Along with the rain came a welcomed cool breeze that made me want to roll down the windows despite the risk of water coming into the car. As I’m driving there is suddenly a significantly large brown “plop” on the window. Less than a second later I noticed an even bigger condensation/steam ring encompassing the “plop”. Since when did plummeting feces arrive hot enough and large enough on a windshield to actually make a steam ring? Already grossed out enough, I turned on the wiper fluid to get rid of this steaming pile of crap obstructing my view. I figured that the fluid, in combination with the rain, would completely remove the feces from the glass. Not the case. Instead, I rinsed away all the semisolid matter and was left with various worm shapes gathered on the outer sides of the windshield. For the remainder of my errands I was distracted by all the fecal leftovers. It wasn’t the most pleasant drive.
Moving away from avian bodily functions leads me to my own, more specifically to my burp. I spent all of Friday thinking about sushi and vegetable tempura. For dinner I decided to assuage this craving by heading over to Oishii. After I was finished eating, the waitress asked if I would like anything else, “You want more? You want green tea friiiiied iiiice cream?”
I answered truthfully, “I would love some, but not today. Thank you.”
“Okaaaay, thaaaaank yooooou.” She brings me the check. I pay and leave.
On the way back to the house I stopped by Barnes and Noble to assuage my green tea latte addiction. To avoid binging on any literary purchases I booked it (pun intended) back to the car and continued driving home. After sucking down the latte during the drive, I burped. Of course there were remnant flavors of dinner, luckily only fried tempura, and the taste of my current beverage, green tea. After the burp, I thought, “Hmm…that kinda tasted like…” Well, let’s just say I didn’t quite get the actual fried ice cream, but I still got the essence of it. Delicious.
Gross? Yeah, I know. “T.M.I, Jessica, T.M.I.” I still thought I should share. You’re welcome.
