It’s her birthday, and she can cry if she wants to.

The rules when it comes to multiple people requesting off on the same day are: only one person on the same bench is allowed to take off.  A maximum of two people are allowed to take vacation on the same day.

My co-worker had two strikes against her when she asked to take a vacation day on her birthday.  Someone had already requested off before she did, and that person is on the same bench.  It’s not the best pre-birthday news, so I tried to think of something that would get her special day off to a great start.

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A ray of green in a lab overwhelmed by grey

By yesterday I reached my threshold for caca del toro (bullshit) at the lab, stopped at Taco Bell for dinner, and then knocked out while watching CSI on Spike.  I finished the Nacho Supreme, Beef and Potato Burrito, and a Cheesy Gordita Crunch, then got cold enough to curl up in the blanket lying on the couch.  Perhaps out of a fat induced coma, the next few hours were spent coming in and out of consciousness until heading up to my room to call it a night.  Taco Bell probably played a part in my drowsiness, but all the stress from the lab and pressure to finish graduate school essays probably deserve the real credit for tapping out so early.

The same thing happened to another co-worker last night.  She was out like a light and refused to wake up even after her fiancee begged her to take a shower before officially going to bed.  Her answer to his pleas was to continue sleeping fully dressed.  I can definitely relate.  It could be that we spent the entire day trying to coordinate 18 plates for nine PCR machines between the two of us, make enough gels for our plates, and then proceed to check those 18 plates on those gels.  Feel free to throw in a rude PCR machine nazi that feels the need to remind anyone even looking at a machine that she is signed up for it until after 2 pm, along with finding an overdraft fee hanging out in my checking account, and you get a very, very crabby Jessica.

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Malaysian Invasion

Like Entomology, the whole DNA sequencing thing is not really my bag.  Fortunately for me an import from across the world makes my 7-to-4 (not 9-to-5) bag a little lighter, and I refer to this laboratory phenomenon as the “Malaysian Invasion”.  Visually, this movement is contained within a 6′, tan Malaysian male with Chinese ancestry.  He is distinguished from others with a similar appearance by his almost permanent smile and the constant use of “my freeeeennnn” while speaking.  If you experience this invasion, do not be alarmed.  You will probably enjoy the encounter and want to be his “fren” in no time at all.

A few weeks back I made a smart-alecky comment brought about from our usual banter, and his retort was, “You are a stinky, big, fat weilder who smells like metal!”

Confused I asked, “What’s a weilder?”

“You know, w-e-i-l-d-e-r…he has a thing (makes torch motion) and metal and builds stuff…like the girl in the movie that danced…there was water…you know, a weilder.”

“Uh, a welder?”

“Yeah, that’s you and you stink like metal!”

Through the laughter, I managed to squeeze out “Sometimes you are a goober.  Seriously.  You are such a weirdo, a big, stinky weirdo who smells…weird.”

A few days later I was again reminded why he makes genetics a little more tolerable when a storm caused all the machines in the lab to lose electricity.  The power outage affected our centrifuge by stopping his run of the initial 3-minute spin required for Big Dye purification plates.  Since there was no way to tell exactly how long the plates had been in the machine, I suggested throwing them away rather than risk affecting his sequencing results.  He noted how much water had been collected in the plate reservoir with, “Hmm, should be okay.”

I voiced my skepticism by saying, “You’re pretty brave, kid.  But I guess they’re your plates.”

“Have faith my fren.  It will be okay because I am stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive…I, I, I, Iiiiii”m stayin’ alive,” was the lyrical Bee Gee inspired reassurance he cheerily sang to me.  All I could do was laugh and tell him how weird he is.

Maybe one day it will sink in, but hopefully not any time soon.