By Order

March 11, 2010 By Jessica

Tonight he looked over at me with a smile and a nod signaling permission to approach the counter. Usually he works in the cafe area near the magazines, but today his duty was scanning purchases at the front of the bookstore.  I walked up to the Barnes & Noble cashier clutching the most recent issues of “Allure” and “Glamour“. He already knew me.

“Green tea latte?”

It’s the same way he greets me every time I walk back to the cafe to order my nonfat, no foam, two-pump green tea latte before browsing among the books. I smiled. “Haha. No, not today. I went for the shaken green tea instead.”

“Oh, trying something different. How was it?”

“Delicious.”

“Great!” He rips off the receipt and asked, “Did you need a bag?”

“No, thank you.”

“Well, have a great night.”

“Thanks. You, too, man.”

Next time I see him I plan on actually introducing myself. It will probably go a little something like, “Hi, I’m Jessica, but you can call me ‘green tea latte’ for short.”

Filed Under: Out, Places Tagged With: ,

Usually sun-colored

April 10, 2009 By Jessica

To wash down my breakfast bagel I ordered my usual from Starbucks, a green tea latte with 2 pumps of syrup and non-fat milk.  The enthusiastic barista handed me my drink while remarking in her thick accent, “It’s really green!”

I assisted in stating the obvious.  “Heh.  Yep, guess it is.”

She then says, “Could I ask you a personal question?”  This inquiry always leaves me a little hesitant to respond with any semblance of a go-ahead.  When a man wants to ask me something personal it is always concerning at least one of two things, my appearance or relationship status.  Women have a lot more leeway on their chosen subject due to the whole “girl-talk” loophole.

Placated by my green tea, I answer, “Sure.”

Taking full advantage of womanly intimacy, she giggles while asking, “Does it come out that color when you take it to the bathroom?”

Lady.  Wow.  Seriously.  How many times has your waiter asked you what color your poop is based on the dish you just ordered?

I shake my head and assure her that my urine is not green.  “Nope.  It’s yellow every day, all day.”

She giggles again.

Filed Under: Out, People, Personal Tagged With: , , ,

Chicken and Tea help The Man go down.

February 6, 2009 By Jessica

There are days when nothing goes right, days when you wake up late and have to pedal your little heart out to work so your day ends at 4:00 and not at 4:05.  There are days when you find someone has left your light sensitive Big Dye plates in a brightly lit room, days when the one primer you need is the only one empty and the drawer containing the concentrated primer is frozen solid.  There are times when you can remember buying a breakfast taco but the moment it took to travel from the table to your mouth was hardly memorable.  The only proof there was any breakfast at all is the uncomfortable bloated feeling cutting off all circulation.  These are the times you struggle to not yell at the top of your lungs, “Why is there no hood?  Why can’t I find that DNA?  Where is my plate?  How long are you going to use that? TPS reports?  Why?!?”  Maybe I got a little carried away with the “TPS reports”-part courtesy of Office Space, but I swear that is what it feels like.

There are days when you arrive home at 4:10 instead of 4:05 despite your best efforts to blow that popsicle stand; there are days when you jump in the car at 4:11 to brave the throbbing metropolitan traffic only to discover your beloved debit card and all forms of identification are safe at home.  These are the times where you have to choose between backtracking through rush hour and buying the filet you’ve been salivating over all week or getting a couple pomegranates and using the rest of the cash in your wallet to do the necessary errands.  It’s not a fair trade by far, but life’s not fair.

I’m not sure how you overcome those days, but I cope by celebrating the small things that make me smile, events like 50¢ Boneless Wing Day or my green tea latte time.  I sit back thinking “Damn the MAN!” but then realize without “The Man” my 12 boneless buffalo wings doused in garlic-parmesan sauce or green tea latte with non-fat milk, no foam, and light syrup might not be possible or as easily accessible.  I may loathe spending 8 hours a day with Mr. Man, but I suppose I can momentarily put my feelings aside to make room for some chicken and tea.  Truce now.  Damning later.

Filed Under: Personal, Update Tagged With: , , , , , , ,