Those first few moment on the phone were like trying to find a light switch in the darkness of a new place. You can barely remember what it looks like until your eyes adjust and you’re able to navigate through the shadowy space. Our journey through the initial salutations felt like that awkward fumbling, stumbling to figure out where the conversation would lead, and I definitely wasn’t ready for where it would take us.
My feet hit the pavement as I pushed the speaker button to hear him better.
When a buddy of mine wanted to move further inside of Houston, I encouraged him wholeheartedly. He spent a day looking at apartments in the inner loop and left pretty discouraged by high rent and small spaces. I suggested looking into private rental properties instead and gave him some of the details from Jay’s old place. Unfortunately, I only knew the location, rent, and relative description of the house. It sounded great to my buddy, but I had no idea how Jay found it in the first place. This led me to a dilemma: Do I ask Jay, even though he probably wouldn’t respond, or do I ask Em to get the information for me, even though I don’t want him to be the go-between?
I wasn’t sure if I could get the details of how Jay found his place but promised to try my best. So, I did.
The most hands-off way I could think of was to send an email to Jay with all the contact information of the friend trying to find a place. By doing it that way, I would be totally bypassed, but my buddy could still get the information he wanted. It went like this:
I have a friend that is looking for a new place and interested in the Heights area. Since I like the area also, I told him about your last place. He wanted to know the details about how you found it, but I wasn’t sure. If you’d like to help him out, his name is…his number is…his email is…
The info./help would be much appreciated.
Thanks,
Jessica
Less than an hour later there was a surprise email notification from Jay on my phone. I couldn’t open it and asked,
Dear (Jay’s last name),
There is no message on my phone (or inbox). Feel free to forward whatever info. was in the message directly to…
Sincerely,
Jessica
He did what I asked. Later on I received an email from my buddy thanking me for the help. I forwarded that sentiment via a “thank you” text to Jay. He never responded.
By this time, there had been no contact between Jay and I for approximately six months. Visits to see Em reminded me of that distance and how much I missed Jay. A couple weeks later, after a visit to Em’s place, the urge to talk and catch-up was overwhelming. I called but couldn’t leave a message; I had no clue what to say. His recorded greeting came on, and I hung up. Even during the friendship, I only left messages out of necessity and expected a call back even if there was no voice mail saying to do so. In this circumstance, I could only hope for him to call back. He never did. So, I emailed him instead.
Hey, man. I have been wondering how you are and called the other day to see what’s up…hope you’re doing well.
Jessica
Guess what happened afterward? That’s right. Nothing. Nothing in my in-box. Nothing on my phone. Nothing at all. Zero. Nada. I was beyond confused. Why help a friend of mine, but not bother to answer a call or respond to an email? It made no sense to me.
Tuesday night I sat at my computer listening to “Chasing Pavements” by Adele. She asks, “Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing pavements even if it leads no where?”
Let’s keep chasing. Dial it again, Sam.
The message that he was dating someone came on a Friday. By Sunday my head was overflowing with questions, so I decided to call. There was no answer. I didn’t leave a message.
Monday was unbearable simply because every free moment I had to think while at work would end in my eyes starting to water. I opted for another try at attempted resolution around 8-ish that night. He answered. The fact that I couldn’t steady my voice while telling him I needed to talk should have served as an obvious clue I wasn’t ready. We decided to meet up at a pub in the Village. Privacy would have been better, but I had hoped being in a relatively public place would help retard my anger a bit. It didn’t. I left the house already in tears and after arriving ordered a beer while I waited. I wasn’t thirsty, but I didn’t want to come in and sit without buying something. The Ace Pear and I waited for him.
He arrived and sat down across from me.
