Conversations with The Malaysian

My excitement over actually posting after so long bubbled over into telling The Malaysian that I’d written on the blog.  Without being coerced he typed in the site address on his desk computer.  JuicyK popped up.

“My fren, I thought you had a peekture.”

“No, I told you I just kinda posted an intro saying how I would be posting more frequently and plan on telling the story about why in another post.”

A few moments later he adds, “Oh, it’s not that bad.”

It took me a second to register the comment.  I know his affinity for short paragraphs residing in even shorter posts, so I asked, “Because it’s short, you mean?”

If “Steve Urkel” of Family Matters and “Louis Skolnick” from Revenge of the Nerds had a child, his/her laugh would be very similar to what I hear on a daily basis coming out of The Malaysian.  “Hahahahahaha, my fren.  Of course.”

“Jerk.”

More Urkel Skolnick noises followed until I asked him whether or not he had plans for the weekend.

“I do not, but I am sad.”

“Why’s that?”

“They stopped publishing my favorite anime.  This week is the last week, and it ruins my Friday night routine.”

That routine goes a little something like this:  Work from 8 am to 4:30 pm, drive home, eat a snack, take a nap, wake up for his favorite anime show, watch anime around 7 pm, go to bed, do it again the next Friday.

I asked, “Is the Asian child inside of you crying right now?”

Completely serious, he nodded at me.

Pulling out lint, but hoping for sunshine

At the exact moment I pulled into the driveway, and after a particularly horrendous day at work, this comes on the radio:

I cried.  Unfortunately, I opted for pocket-less gaucho pants when deciding what to wear this morning.  Tomorrow I will make it a point to have a pocket on my outfit to hold some hope.

Oh, snap.

My boss has somewhat of problem with curbing her cussing, and the fact that I generally don’t cuss creates an issue for me.  Yes, it is a bar, but she’s also my boss.  I tell her that she reminds me of a sailor each time something colorful comes out of her mouth, which is quite often.

After something particularly vulgar, I said, “[Her name], I think I’m going to look into finishing classes for you, so maybe one day you might actually turn into a lady.”

“You’re such a bitch.”

“Well, sailor, guess today’s not the day for becoming a lady.”